


Dead

by Flatlander



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-06-27
Updated: 2002-06-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 08:59:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11917527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flatlander/pseuds/Flatlander
Summary: All Wesley wants is to feel again, but it seems as if he's incapable of it.





	Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: _Angel_ belongs to Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Greenwolf Corporations, Warner Brothers Studios, and Fox Television Productions. Any copyright infringements were not intended. This story was written for entertainment and not for profit.
> 
> Spoilers and Timing: Takes place during "Tomorrow." There are many spoilers for that, the second half of season three, heavy spoilers for "Reprise" and "Epiphany," and a few more season two spoilers.

What did Angel feel when he slept with the enemy?

What did Angel feel when he fired Cordelia, Gunn, and I and went after Wolfram and Hart against our counsel?

I'm pretty sure that he didn't feel betrayed. No, during those few months last year, Cordelia, Gunn, and I grew closer because we were the ones who felt betrayed by Angel. And now, a year later, it was my turn to betray them. But unlike last year's situation, this time both ends felt betrayed. Cordy, Gunn, Fred, Angel, and Lorne all felt betrayed by me because I did what I thought I had to do to protect Connor, and I felt betrayed by them because they wouldn’t even give me a second chance. Last year, we gave Angel a second chance, but I doubt they'll ever let me back in.

The truth of that statement, that I will never be forgiven, has haunted me for weeks. Every man needs hopes, and while I was lying in that hospital bed, I'd hoped constantly that my friends…that word has little meaning now, it seems…would wait for my story. But they didn’t. Fred brought me my things, Angel tried to smother me with a pillow, and now I can never go back to the people that I once considered family.

It's left me dead inside. Back in the hospital, I felt guilt, sadness, betrayal, and other similar emotions. But now I feel nothing. I've buried them so deep inside along with happiness, joy, and the like, that I can't feel any of it anymore. So maybe that's the real reason why I am sleeping with Lilah Morgan. Maybe I just want to feel something. So far, it isn't working.

Now she's leaving. We exchange a few biting remarks as she puts on her clothes. I think I sting her more than she hurts me because she can still feel something. I doubt that I ever will again. 


End file.
